Cancer Update: Today’s My Birthday!
Please note, this language was adapted from an email, so please pardon if there are any lingering email references.
Or actually, more appropriately, our birthday, because my twin is only one minute older than me! Today we turn 34! AND our uncle has the same birthday, so really it's like, the more the merrier. (HBD Uncle Dave!)
Before I got diagnosed with cancer, I didn't really care for birthdays that much. It's not that I disliked them nor did I disapprove of other people celebrating birthdays, but it always just seemed like a big to-do about another day that felt generally the same as the rest. I think what it boiled down to was that I dreaded the idea of getting people together somewhere that the parking is awful, it's too loud, and usually starts at 9pm (all things that don't jive with what makes me feel well). It never felt like an accurate celebration of life. And frankly, I was too busy freelance hustling myself into the ground to feel like I should stop and "celebrate". Wasn't there something important I was always working towards? What does the present moment offer me? (LOL, in hindsight)
Aging is weird because it's so gradual. One day you're young, and the next every pro athlete is solidly 10+ years younger than you. It seems to happen in a blink.
I was never one to lament getting older in the conventional beauty sense. Commercials/media have a pervasive narrative around "fighting aging," which always felt like a futile waste of time to me. I respect precautions to keep your skin / hair / body feeling healthy and well looked after, but so much of the wellness seemed to be more topical than internal. If cancer has taught me anything, it's this:
Health is far more than the absence of disease
The best way to tackle any cosmetic "issue" is to look first at your food
Aging is a privilege, and one to be embraced
If I get the chance to have grey hair, I'm going to be rocking it with pride
Birthdays are a celebration of life, but also, every day should be a celebration of life. Birthdays are just an excuse to get free treats from your favorite store rewards (looking at you golden milk lattes and Sugarfish sushi) and to gather, if you want, with people you love, if they need a reason to pause their busy lives
So now, I'm pro-birthday. Celebrate how you want! It should be the most "you" day possible. That might be going out dancing with friends, hiking a local trail, or it might be cozying in on the couch with your fave home-cooked meal and TV series (Taskmaster. It's Taskmaster). For me it will involve blanket burritos on the couch and probably getting to bed before 9pm (who am I kidding, it's been more like 8:30 these days!). There is nothing I love more than to ring in a new year feeling well rested. What an utter luxury!
In honor of my birthday today, please treat yourself to something. Maybe it's a physical thing like a latte or a snack, or maybe it's just indulging in an extra episode of a TV show, taking a hot bath, taking one more break from work than usual, spending 5 minutes before bed taking deep breaths, finding a new recipe to make this weekend, really the world is your oyster! Whatever floats your boat is the name of the game. If you do something special, let me know what it is! I love hearing what brings other people joy.
I took this photo last week to show my family how nicely my incision is healing, so now you get to see it! If you look really closely you can see my first scar just above this one in the middle of my throat (it's about 2.5" long), but it's amazing how nearly invisible it is. My muscle on the left side of my neck is still quite stiff, though getting back to yoga class has been super helpful for loosening that up. It makes the left part of my neck appear swollen, when really it's my muscle that's all up in there (and of course some scar tissue, which I gently massage). Slowly but surely!
Aiming to be in softball shape by the time the LA rain stops. Or maybe better phrased, I'm hoping to be able to play softball before long, and ideally at a cardio stamina level far above rec league softball.
I still get tired quickly these days — I regularly get to bed by 8:30, but I’m grateful for the flexibility to nap and lean into being tired. And honestly it doesn’t feel that different than before, it’s more that I’m better at listening to it than pushing through. I don’t drink caffeine, so it also seems reasonable that I would get sleepy by 8pm. Leaning into a schedule that helps me feel well supported!
Bloodwork April 8th, Follow up with my surgeon April 10th
In the meantime, I've gotten back to yoga class (which is just the besttt) and I'm continuing my other healing practices (for instance, reiki and crainosacral work with the wonderfully talented Ananda of anandevi.com -- if you're in LA and have a body, I recommend you see her, like ASAP).
It seems I have a hundred doctor's appointments in April (anyone else?). But the cancer related ones will be bloodwork 4/8, surgeon 4/10, naturopath 4/11, endocrinologist follow up 5/4. I'll plan to send an update around the 11th or 12th once I know more about my bloodwork levels and next steps.
As a Muppet Christmas Carol fan, I had such a good chuckle at this meme.
While I definitely don't feel like this is my own view, it was too good not to share. This Instagram account is a popular cancer account.