“life is a waterfall
we’re one in the river
and one again after the fall”

— Aerials, System of a Down

If It’s The Last Thing I Do is for young people.

There is a serious hole in support when it comes to deathcare in the AYA community (nevermind the cancer muggle community!). No one wants to talk about young people dying. But we want to talk about it. Too often it seems people think if they don’t talk about death, it won’t happen, but unfortunately that’s not how being mortal works.

End-of-life planning isn’t just about dying, it’s about aligning your life with what matters to you, and in that, your death is one part. Creating an end-of-life plan doesn’t mean you want to die, it means you want to rest easier now knowing your loved ones will have one less puzzle to solve after you die.

Our mission is to normalize EOL planning for young people by making the process easy to understand, easy to start, and accessible. EOL planning is for everyone — it’s literally the only thing we all have in common. Whether you have $1 to your name or multiple properties across the globe, your life affects other people. What better gift to your loved ones (chosen or otherwise) than to have your “affairs in order”. Having your EOL plan completed means that when you die, they can stick to the grieving part and not scramble their way through your belongings, burial plan, or passwords.

If It’s The Last Thing I Do was born of the need for end-of-life planning to be less mysterious, less scary, and less, well, Boomer-y. When you fill out traditional EOL workbooks, it asks you questions like the legacy you want to leave for your grandchildren or has spaces labeled “husband" and wife”. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for the complexity of living a modern life in a modern world, especially if you’re writing your wishes under the age of 70.

We know what it’s like to be an AYA cancer patient. In fact, our founder was diagnosed with papillary thyroid carcinoma at 29 (in 2018). All too often there’s this unspoken dance of doctors not telling dying people they are dying, the dying people not telling their family they are dying, and families not telling dying people, so as not to “upset” anyone. In reality, everyone knows. And even if you’re not dying anytime soon, why aren’t we encouraged to do our EOL planning? EOL planning doesn’t mean giving up hope (which is a whole other topic), it’s really about getting your ducks in a row so you can get back to savoring this life, however long you have left. Trust us, it feels SO good having your plan written down, and it can often be a wonderful way to do your life in review.

We are so glad you are here. In every sense.

Thinking about death can be intimidating and scary, but it can also be a beautiful way to clarify what matters to you and give you a compass for how you want to live your life, no matter how long you have left. Because, let’s face it, none of us really know.

MEET OUR FOUNDER

Julia de’Caneva

Just three months after my mother-in-law died, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 29. At that point, I had been freelancing between graphic/web design and professional home organizing for 5+ years, clocking upwards of 90 hours a week. I had all the markers of “success”, but mostly felt deeply anxious and unwell courtesy of my (then) unmanageable IBS.

With any cancer diagnosis, mortality tends to slap you across the face. Or more apt, across the heart. I was wrapping my head around the fact that I was in no way prepared to be a dying 30-year-old.

I was lucky that my prognosis was “it’s pretty likely you’ll live to be an old lady,” but the veil of uncertainty had been lifted and you simply can’t unsee it. I had spent my whole life being simultaneously curious about death & dying, and drowning in death anxiety too much to even consider the fact that I needed to make preparations. Wasn’t EOL planning for other people? Something I could do later?

I had the unfortunate opportunity to support one of my home organizing clients after the sudden death of her spouse several years prior to my diagnosis. Despite witnessing firsthand the extensive list of items to reconcile after a death, I never made the time to do my own preparations. In part because we’re told, “Oh you’re young, you don’t have to think about that!” But we do. And I did.

Now I’m deeply passionate about normalizing end-of-life planning.

I love to use my home organizing skills to help clients organize their lives to maximize the life they have left, and create a death plan that feels aligned and true to what matters to them. Everything from burial options to what to do with your sweatshirts, it can be such a huge relief finally writing down a plan for all of the pieces of your life. I also integrate my experience as a UCLA Trained Mindfulness Facilitator to bring tools for working with big emotions and finding some ease in the process.

Julia’s Certifications + Studies

  • Black Dog Yoga 200HR

    Teachers Amy and Larry Santiago, Sigrid Matthews; Hatha lineage

    Fall 2023

  • Going With Grace Death Doula

    July 2022

  • UCLA MARC Training in Mindfulness Facilitation

    UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA’s Semel Institute

    2021 Cohort

  • Yoga Nidra Certification

    Teacher: Alex Nashton

    2020

  • Gallup Certified CliftonStrengths Coach

    2019 Cohort, Re-Certifications up-to-date

  • Reiki Levels 1 & 2

    Usui Lineage; Teacher: Heidi Koch

    October 2019

  • BFA in Graphic Design

    University of Iowa 2011; I got over a 4.0 in my major

  • Continued Education

    The Science of Well-Being; Yale University

    The Science of Success; Michigan University

  • Languages

    Fluent: English, German

    Elementary knowledge: Japanese, Dutch

    Previously studied: Greek, Italian

When not talking all things deathcare,

you can find Julia meditating by her fireplace, watching Taskmaster UK with her husband, and snapping photos of flowers during her long walks around her neighborhood. She enjoys sewing clothing, reading, studying new languages (current: Japanese!), and anything to do with sweet potatoes. She is a highly sensitive, introverted, empath with an equal love of connecting with people and being in a blanket burrito.

INFJ / Enneagram 2,1 / Abstainer / Questioner (if you know, you know) 

CliftonStrengths: Input, Learner, Individualization, Empathy, Achiever.

Balking at societal norms is a favorite activity for this self-proclaimed non-conformist, and she will happily have a Death Chat with you any day. Her dream is to start a revolution where people show up unabashedly as themselves and display a deep appreciation and compassion for everyone else. She is convinced that emotional intelligence will save the world.